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archives Y

x[May 2006]x
x[June 2006]x
x[July 2006]x
x[August 2006]x
x[September 2006]x
x[October 2006]x
x[November 2006]x
x[December 2006]x
x[January 2007]x
x[February 2007]x
x[March 2007]x
x[April 2007]x
x[May 2007]x
x[June 2007]x
x[July 2007]x
x[August 2007]x

my pet Y

Wednesday, August 15, 2007Y
7:03 AM
i pray that its gonna be fine

Wednesday, August 08, 2007Y
7:40 AM
i loved todayyy!!!
today was a super awwweeesooommmmeeee day!
omgosh netball girls out~woo!
-beth(:
-helen(:
-me!
-sher(:
-iv[the horrible bowler! X) ]
-sya!
-jes!!!
-shalina!!
n hafi n pl joined fer a while!
it was a fantasic day la!
after national day whatever, we played catching for like super long then went mac's for lunch n went to bowl n then finally chocolate fondue at sher's house!! super easy to sum it up [cause im too lazy to type] IT WAS SUPER FUN!!! ;D

omgosh i really loved it, so carefree!!!! ;D for once im damn happy((: unlike normal days..when other ppl are ard..but who cares! i'll totally enjoy going for netball nowindays and totally look forward to it!!! ((: thanks guys for changing my perpective!!!

I LOVE NETBALL,& THE PEOPLE!!! ;D

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007Y
4:37 AM
i saw this girl,
sitting alone in a dark corner.
she wore all black,
and seemed crying,
to my back.
she sung a sad song,
a song of,
friends,family,and love.
she seemed all depressed,
i could feel it from above.
it was all around her,
the aura of sadness.
O,i wish i could have helped her,
to prevent her tears.
but she sung this song,
a specail song of death.

"O, i wish my family could know,
to know of all i've been through,
through pain,sadness,happiness & joy,
through a life lead full of emptyness.
O i wish my lover could know,
how sorry i am to him,
to betray my word,to hurt myself,
to cut, and bleed,
it never stops,
and these tears that have not an end.
O i wish my friends could know,
how torn i feel inside,
how much pain they have caused me,
only to laugh at the end.
how much different i feel,
secretly hating them inside,
through all of this i know i've been living a lie.
O how i envy i could be like them,
happy and full of bliss.
But i know i only can end this,
in the only way i know of,
which is death."

What a song to hear to my ears,
from above,
a sinfull,tragic song,
i wished i could help that girl,
as i saw her end.
i hoped that she went to a happy place,
a place where i belong,
a place full of joy and happiness,
a place that she longed.

i saw thisgirl only once more,
full of joy and laughnig,
laughing at a picture,
a picture inherhands.
so i took a look closer,
only to find what i least expected.
all her friends,
were dead,
and neverto be mended.

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Saturday, July 28, 2007Y
8:51 AM
smt i start to hate the ppl i used to love.
well it totally sucks tho.
i miss my sis.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION
n agian
TO TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING ;D

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007Y
4:16 AM

i'd probally take another year,

TO TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING.

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Friday, July 06, 2007Y
7:21 PM
wha000 these past few days have been-- WOOT!!!
whahaah so like kelvin and andy were trying to krump in class i was like NONO thats so wrong haha sheren was also tryin ta correct all their wrong moves hahaha. n kelvins so proud to "" be able to krump"" in his mind hahah so damyn funny uh! then what eddie was as disgusting as ever! n sheren as lame as ever!!! hhahah so fun !! eddie was like doing some really disgusting things n stuff yuk!! haha this week also i discovered smt in one of my friends blogs..lemme just say omgosh!!! ** my eyes were scar--ed for life!! eeewww hahaha

hmm also made a new friend hes cool n yahh.next week is totally loaded with tests!!! n practices.i mean 6 hours a day...thats madness! i just hope we'all like got enouf skill to show some ppl in qtss y we love what were doing more then netball .& thats the reason y my passion in netball has beed sucked dry. it better we worth it from the practices!! so thats like whats been happenin' lately.. hmm so many projects n stuff! its beeennnn soooo long since i blogged so i decided to write crap, n thats y m here hahha. N sheren !!! i AMMMM not full of crap ok! hmpfff..... hahah so what else? oh...recently got this like operation n stuff on my hand,n i cant sweat! doctors orders.. bt heck la.O!! n also got caught like 3 times in two days for taking the lift!! like wth!! so sway!!! ok nvm.well i think thats enouf crap so byee!!! ((:

[/m3Ll](:

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Wednesday, June 06, 2007Y
8:28 AM
well, heya ppl im here stuck in thailand for what was to be 1 n a half weeks but now a half week left so yah.i'll be back on sat i think.oh gosh n i despertly need some1 to fax me the hmwk cause i lost it all!!! ahhh ...oh well i think my brain has turned to mush anyways...*grumble* the passports are done yesterday just went to "maboonkong" n went shopping for a while..OH! i got a pair of these super cool converse shoes!!! yayayay!!! its like white leather n has metal studs on it!! haha gonna use it fer sch(: but too bad its all white...anyways i also saw these super nice nike's that i wanted to buy but too bad no size... so yup... anyway there have been some troubling matters on my mind here when im secluded from society but i try to put it away n get on with the night....hfffffff.....so i've been tryin ta wrap up the months n here it goes...

JULY
*camp
*n a secret competti(:

AUGUST
*prep 4 aces

SEPT
*aces dance!!!
*nnn time to read books to boost my vocab

OCT
*study! exams are near

that wraps up the months to come then! simple !
so then back m back in stinkapore again i think i'll be staying bout two days er smt then yay! off too indo! yayayayay

the foods here great tho...i'll miss it dearly!! bye wonderfull mouth watering food!! n a specail goodbye to my B.U.T.I full durain!!

hahah so yah theres my half-hearted blog post.
[sewadka(:]
melly


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Tuesday, May 29, 2007Y
8:40 AM
do you guys ever notice that i only write on my blog when im dead bored or juest fuking furious? or angry? hahah yah welll....here goes the "spilling of emotions" again...

FACT/HINT:
u open ur mouth too fast nowindays. please shut it?

OPINON:
u both are perfect for each other..u do not need me..i often feel like...even tho pleople say i ya,my appreciation n thanks to them.but beside u both i feel...just depleated...of everything.. with a sprawling mind of thoughts as well.

WELL! OFF TO THAILAND NOW!

[sewadika(:]

M3L;(:

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Monday, May 21, 2007Y
8:12 AM
OOOUUUHHHHHHH....
how i WILL of the intoxicating warmth and soft fluffy comfort of my bed!!! aiiii... what an impossible feat...i wish sleep could overcome me until tmr begins and i'll wake up into another dream of a nightmare....aiiiiiiiii......lucky exams are finish and over! i feel like m drifting in and out, in an out...sleeping entering a peacefull slumber then only waking up to find horror again. what is that man? gooosshhhhh....

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4:09 AM
i have a self-conscience, n i know, he does tell tall tales! and a great bunch at that fact! but even thou he may be over-exagerating or whateva, there are just some things that are unexplainable,that i've seen with my own naked eyes.dont you know im sick of it?-dreadfully i am! long before u discovered may at that as well.Wracking my brains night and day for an appropreate conclusion that wun involve you in any of this mess? i tried, i tried so hard, believe me i will never lie about these things n u should know that. i've been trying to differ fact from fiction,fiction from fact until i just explode and end up crying.just ask sheren.anywhere anytime, i will just start.hav'nt u wondered y my exam results dun satify me? m dissapointed in myself for having my mind stubbornly refusing to absorb whats in the textbook and having to slap myself as it lingers on other disturbing thoughts.i've been trying so hard.TOO hard.trying to push away reality.always.its on my mind.

too let u know.if i didnt care about u, or have any feelings at all,n just be a heartless bitch, y do u think i even let these painfull tears crawl on my pillow at night? if i didnt give a heck,wait.WHO do u even think stayed with u for hours n hours trying to console u on ur problems? all those times, at the busstop.i could have just left u crying.did u ever think y i would do that? same as u of course.just trying to be a perfect friend.somehow i see it as u do not heed my hours of advice smts.only those more experienced say a word or two n u heed theirs.its obvissous,u smts say so urself.this is one of the matters i do not understand as well. even thou i was terribly bothered by it,i was still by urside. so ask me y.

Well,if they are enough for u.[no offense S & S, u two are great ppl!] go ahead be happy again.i know u saw me, in the bus, letting them cascade down my cheeks.i wonder how u felt bout that.i dunnoe.well, anyway, i really really thought u would last, i reallyreally liked u,val , i loved u as a friend.I'LL let u know this though.,

half of me wants to embrace u and say sorry.
another half wants to glare at u and stalk off.

i've been controlling my sides to even out.
ur reasons for going with them are all explainable, i understand totally.but other matters, are .....just unexplainable and i do not want to mention them. i do not want to stir up more than there already is. im just confused.the only thing is to prove it.n know this as well, we are not gullible ppl, u think we would fall for the crap most of the time he gives? NO. we'll not.n i know u know that.were smart people. if we make any decisions it is with a hell lot of great care and thought, considering every possiblity.n seeing proof of every angle ourselves. so i shall mention again, i do not want to explain more then whatever there is uncovered already. im not sure u heard everything that bloody traitor said.so now, i let u wonder, y would we do any of this? figure out urself. but be wise val, think of everything,take a night off to wonder what were affected by, and how we feel. n U more than anyone else shuld know we hate too lose friends.anyway, all that time, do u think we would throw it away for nothing?

but we'll always love u as a friend,even if u walked out.
what u heard was wrong, i do not hate u.
just dissapointed.in him.n u.
some things are ridiculous but we heck it.
but all the small things add up,too bigger ones.
n im sick of everything, i just wish i could forget this knowlegde of this matter in my head, but i've pushed it away,just too long.

we'll always be there for u,for ur info,feel free to come to us for advice, we ask for nothing in return, just wishfull thinking. please val,think about it, i beg of u.i know nobody is perfect and this is all too fast but u have to go thru these problems one day no doubt. it will give experience u know that. so i guess...its now.for our bad year,bad month, . the f*cking rooster.it pains be dearly to lose the closest sec school friend too me as well...[sheren's a p'sch friend!] ....i weep for my loss dearly.untill there r no more tears.u noe me , i'll always reassure myself that "its not worth crying over mel,its just not worth it" but im dead wrong.it does not help me.anyways,whats there to gain from a loss? emptyness? no thats not it...

so night.

[P.S. ur D&G one? is'nt that the black and gold one that faroza also has? if it is then yah,u did wear it to school b4 n told quite a lot of ppl i rmb vividly.but that matter does not bother me ,unlike him.] (i think)

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Monday, May 14, 2007Y
7:13 AM
ONE THING.

my luvff 4 yah has gone dorment.
so its old news.
ill leave it behind now.
one night.one more time.
well thnks fr the mmrs.
even tho some of them were breaking.
thanks.
well some ppl r gonna get happy.
dun get ur hopes up.
m staying the way i m.

& JUST ANOTHER THING.

whats wrong wif u.
u bitch.
i dun wanna play along.
i refuse to go n fake.i know u love that.
u take every opportunity.
dont yah bitch.
well i let them pass.
even tho i might be more than u.
i know my limits.
n i REFUSE to lose my dignity.
n i dun wana THROW AWAY my pride.
i m aware too not-lose-myself now.
if thats anything i learnt frm that book.
its stupid.
don't make a fool of urself.
u might b pretty if u shut ur mouth.
cause when u open it , u lose ur image.
comgrats.ask urself y.

i would help u.
if u consider me as a friend.
cause u sure do not treat me as one.
to caught up wif ur bitch business.
hahhaha.
sometimes i cant wait to go to canada.
yay here i come.
singapore's not for me.

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